What does a doula look like?

Have you ever judged a book by it's cover? Were you surprised by what you found inside if you decided to open that book and read it cover to cover?

Have you ever looked at a person and put them in a class of their own? Did you later speak to that person and learn many things about them and how amazing and special inside they were?

I find it somewhat odd that I have not only had this happen once but maybe a few times in the last 5 years to be told that I don't look like what they imagined a doula to look like! Wow! We have a special set of clothes to wear because we choose to be a doula? I had no clue! I joke and say that because when I've decided to ask that ever lingering question..."what did you expect me to look like?" I have always gotten the same response. Long hair, no makeup, maybe a skirt and a scarf! I find it funny and tell them that not every hippie is a doula and not every doula is a hippie (on the outside)!

I love each and every client I have ever had the opportunity to work with because of their unique diversity. Diversity is what makes the world go round! It's what makes each of us be able to stand one another because it gives us the ability to be ourselves!

When I decided to ask Ashton to be my partner in doula crime back in February I heard the same things. She doesn't look like a doula. I just shook my head and laughed because again...what really does a doula look like?

Let me paint a pretty picture for all of you:

A doula has heart...not a tiny one not a cold one but a HUGE one that explodes with love and compassion and warmth for each mother/family she gets the privilege of helping.

A doula has a body! A body that may be thin, thick, medium, or large, small bones, or big bones. She has a body that sustainably carries her through hours of labor assistance, hours of counter pressure massage, hours of assisting the family she so eagerly serves during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. She has a body that has been blessed with the gift of giving unconditionally.

A doula has a brain! This sometimes may be questionable if she has just spent countless hours at a birth giving unselfishly of herself but it's there I assure you! She has a brain that holds knowledge, that holds experiences. She has a brain that has precious memories of many births, many tears, and many emotions that she has held back to make sure her emotions were not the ones being cared for , that it was your emotions she was caring for because it was your needs she was concerned with. Her brain is full and she is willing to share those moments she holds inside with you.

A doula has hair. Long, straight curly, short, braided, wavy, or maybe a little ratted in a messy bun because it's 2am and she just jumped out of bed to meet you at the hospital. After all hair is better up during a birth; we don't want it in our face interfering with what we're helping you attend to. Hair is simply a feature whether you find it appealing or not I can almost guarantee that what is on the inside is going to make more of a difference to you once you get to know us.

A doula has clothing and let me assure you on this too...it will vary from person to person but again that is what makes us unique and special. Just because I choose to wear a broom stick skirt and tank top today doesn't mean that I won't have a business suite on tomorrow. Doulas are allowed to wear a variety of clothing, I haven't found this in the doula book of tricks or guidelines but feel good when I say as long as we are clothed appropriately we are going to love your family and take care of you all the same!

A doula has a face! Surprise, Suprise I know! That sweet face may or may not have makeup. It's probably a day to day thing as well as the choice of clothing but nevertheless the face of your doula is always going to exude a pleasant smile. I've heard it said that a doula not only smiles with her mouth but with her eyes too. I agree with that. The smile that goes with that make up face or non makeup face is always going to be genuine and heartfelt and smile right along with you in all your joys of your pregnancy/postpartum journey.

Wasn't that a beautiful picture I painted for you! Doulas are beautiful inside and out and once you get to know one I have a feeling you will agree.